For decades, I lived two full-time roles: attorney and mother. I began practicing law in 1986 and became a “lawyer mom” in 1994. Like many working parents, I spent years wondering whether “having it all” came at the expense of my children or my clients. Now that I’m no longer juggling both roles at once, I can finally look back with clarity — and share the lessons that truly made balance possible.
This article is part personal reflection, part practical guide. My hope is that young lawyers, especially working parents, will find encouragement and real, applicable strategies for building a fulfilling career without sacrificing family life.
1. Managing Client Expectations Without Burnout
Working in personal injury law taught me early that strong communication is the foundation of trust. I made it a rule to be transparent with clients about scheduling, especially when family responsibilities required flexibility.
What worked for me:
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Communicate early if you need to reschedule a meeting — most clients appreciate honesty.
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Offer alternatives, such as meeting after-hours or at a nearby coffee shop.
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Know when to let go of difficult clients. If someone consistently drains your energy or disrespects boundaries, it’s healthier — for both sides — to recommend another attorney.
This approach kept client dissatisfaction rare and improved the overall quality of my caseload.
2. Keeping Family at the Center — Without Striving for Perfection
Despite the long hours and unpredictable demands of litigation, my children never lacked what mattered: food, safety, attention, and love. They tolerated inside-out sweatshirts, mismatched outfits, and the occasional chaos with humor.
Practical reminders for parents in law:
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Perfection is unrealistic — consistency matters more.
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Home-cooked meals don’t need to be gourmet. A simple routine can still be meaningful.
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Kids value presence more than polished appearances.
Years later, when my oldest (now a lawyer himself) told me how hard the job felt, it reminded me that he never saw the full weight I carried — which meant I did something right.
3. Do the Hard Work Early — It Pays Off Later
The early stages of any legal career demand long hours and intense focus. I invested heavily in mastering my practice long before I became a parent. That foundation allowed me to work more efficiently later when life required more balance.
Advice for new attorneys:
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Develop deep competency early. Skill reduces stress later.
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Say yes to opportunities that build expertise.
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Accept that early hustle creates long-term flexibility.
Although remote work wasn’t available then, I often returned to the office after my children were asleep. It wasn’t easy, but it ensured my clients received dedicated attention.
4. The Power of Support Systems — Professional and Personal
No lawyer-parent succeeds alone. My husband shared household responsibilities, handled less glamorous parenting tasks, and provided consistent emotional support. We also relied on two exceptional nannies over the years — one for five years and another for eleven.
Just as important was my law firm. My supervising attorney trusted my judgment and allowed me to manage my time as long as the work was done well.
Key takeaways:
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Choose employers who respect work-life balance.
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Invest in childcare you can truly rely on.
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Discuss expectations clearly with your partner or support network.
Support doesn’t remove stress, but it makes the load manageable.
5. “Very Good” Is Often Good Enough
Legal work demands excellence — but not perfection. Every brief, negotiation, and argument must be strong, but not every task requires flawless execution. I learned that delivering consistent, high-quality work, even during busy seasons, was more than enough for clients.
For lawyers who feel stretched thin:
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Don’t chase perfection at the expense of progress.
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Build systems to stay organized during busy periods.
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Trust that your long-term performance defines your reputation — not one exhausting week.
Did I Have It All? My Honest Answer
Looking back, I believe I did “have it all” — not in the idealized, picture-perfect sense, but in a way that aligned with my values. My children were happy and healthy. My clients received excellent representation, even if it meant late nights or weekend work. And I managed to build a career I’m proud of while being present for my family.
Having it all is possible — not because everything is perfect, but because you define what “all” means for your life.
Final Thoughts for Today’s Lawyer-Parents
If you’re navigating the dual demands of law practice and family life, remember:
✅ You don’t need perfection.
✅ You do need support.
✅ Clients respect honesty.
✅ Early effort creates later freedom.
✅ And balance, although imperfect, is achievable.
You can build a meaningful career and a fulfilling family life — one decision, one boundary, and one imperfect day at a time.